Others find my natural love of everyone I know  or know of, as a martyring character flaw. Feeling/wanting to help everyone I seen. But I got all poofy when they wouldn't listen to me, or when they would abuse my love.  I started to see things from the point of view the others were trying to show me and started to harden. I found that my gift of empathy was weak ....if there at all felt like I had started to judge those who would not help themselves

For those of you who know me, I even got to a point where I wasn't feeling you. 

Begging My God tonight for understanding of where my empathy level should be and how much I should do for people.....  Well lets just say he gave me my answer tonight. 

As loud as loud can be, I got the message... "What are YOU doing thinking about YOU so much?"  I almost fell off my bed

I almost let the negatives around me change ME. I realized that I haven't been thinking about anyone but me during my little questioning of self.  "What was I going to do now?" and "Should I really keep putting myself out there and inconveniencing me?"

Well, you know what.

 It's not about ME, and It's not about you.

 It's about Love, truly looking at the face of everyone that you come in contact with, knowing that you are connected to that person, and you should love that person so deeply that you feel their pain, and you want to ease it for them.  Every stomach ache, heart ache, and hunger pain...making it your own as you could be experiencing it yourself at that moment.

 I have to remember that. 

Sometimes I look at the lives that others live.  So much easier.  They get to do so much more of what they want to do, instead of running here and there on one emergency or another.  They have no inner rules that makes them over analyze every little thing they do before they do it...making sure they hurt no one.  No past memories of sitting in church being told that the Son of God wanted you to be all loving and swearing you would be.

For whatever my reason is....I feel better being loving.

It is too exhausting being angry, or disapproving. 

So how loving is too loving.....Don't ask me.

How loved does everyone feel? 

Seems like more love is needed.